Sometimes as a Christian I can feel as if I have messed up one too many times. I can feel like God couldn't possibly use me.
Have you ever felt like that?
Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Some of the most helpful teachings I have heard in my life were the ones where someone was brutally honest. They didn't fluff it all up and act as if their life was "picture perfect", and act like their life as a Christian was so easy or without failures.
I don't want to be like that. I want to be open and honest so that my real life struggles will be of help and encouragement to someone else. So with that said, I will tell you that today, I am struggling. I am feeling like I have strayed away from my close relationship to God one too many times.
I went from reading and studying the Word for hours a day, to reading ten minutes a day or not at all. I went from praying off an on all day to praying once a day. I know its not about how much you read, pray, or worship.....but its about the relationship. Its about WANTING to talk to Him, spend time with Him, and learn from Him. I have gotten complacent. I have gotten lazy. Because of this, I feel as if I have messed up...AGAIN.
But, I will also tell you, I don't go by my feelings. I wont quit. No matter how I feel, or what life throws at me......I choose to serve God. I choose to get up, dust off, and keep going.
So, what do I do at this point? I push forward. I continue to read the Word and study. I continue to trust Jesus to be my example, the Holy Spirit to by my guide, and God to be my defender and ever present help in times of need.
I have found in life that you don't loose if you don't quit. Perseverance and endurance are great qualities to learn and acquire.
I choose to believe that God is a God of miracles, a God of unlimited power and abilities, and a God who will never give up on me. He loved me first before I ever loved Him.
The same is true for you.