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Sunday, May 26, 2013

The "Irritating Person" You Call Your Spouse

Lets face it. Marriage is a lot of work.



I know, I know....we all have visions (especially us girls) of roses, romance, and happily ever afters. Then we get hit with disagreements, our spouses little idiosyncrasies, and a full dose of reality staring us right in the face. 

On the flip side of that......there is a reason you married that person. What was it? Some days you just have to keep reminding yourself of those reasons. Besides, marriage takes TWO and I am sure that we annoy our spouse on occasion as well. 

We cannot CHANGE the person we are with. That is out of our control. What we can change is ourselves. What we CAN control is our reactions to things when they happen. 

If your marriage is a "bed of roses" and you have never had trials come up, or you have never wished your spouse was on another planet at times....I would have to say that you have either been married less than a year, or you are full of cow manure up to your ears. 

For the rest of us that live in the real world.....read on.

Step one....write down what you love about that person. Compliment them on something every day. At least one thing. No false flattery....something genuine.

Step two....If you like romance and they don't....YOU make a candle lit dinner and invite them to it. Maybe they just never had an example of romance and they are oblivious to what it looks like or what it is. 

Step three....communicate. Over the years I have LOVED to ask Golden Anniversary couples (50 years of marriage) what their secret is. I always hear the same thing. 

Never give up on the other person and never go to bed angry. 

Remember it is a commitment....not a trial period. A life long agreement, not a temporary pass. 

Now, I know better than most that abuse is a totally different story. I'm talking to those of you...(and me now thankfully) who are married to a good, non abusive people. 

Hang in there, make God the center of your marriage, and I will get to ask YOU on your Golden Anniversary how you did it!