Since those are the very people they look up to, and try to follow after, I think this hurts all the worse and creates a deeper wound in some. Sometimes, the hurt is so bad that the person never steps foot into a church again.
Being in some faucet of the ministry off and on for the past 8 years, I have seen a lot. I have been the recipient of a lot myself. I have been there. I do understand. I have been hurt in the same way.
I have also had a look at the ministry side as well. The "behind the scenes". I have discovered this.......
There is fault on both sides to one degree or another.
First of all, we have to realize that church is made up of imperfect people. Some may seem perfect, but trust me, they are not. They all have hang ups, character flaws, and they sin too. The Bible says that if any man says there is no sin in his life, he is a liar and there is no truth in him. (1 John 1:8)
Second of all, we need to choose not to be offended. When hurtful things come our way we have a decision to make. We can either let it defeat us, or make us better and wiser. Look at it this way, when we are hurt we know first hand what it feels like, and personally know the pain it causes. Therefore, we do not want to do that to anyone else. Also, if someone has a similar experience, we are better equipped to help them.
Jesus gets it you know. He understands the trials we go through and has great compassion for us. Hebrews 4:15 NLT This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.
Now there are, unfortunately, some churches that exist for the wrong reasons, but they are few and far between. Its like this, if a white man murders his wife, we dont say all white men are wife murderers. That would be unrealistic and unfair. So if one church is bad or badly run, that doesn't mean all churches are bad and badly run. Pray for the one that is amiss, and then find a good one to go to.
Thirdly, we need to learn to COMMUNICATE with each other. If we have suffered an offense, 9 times out of 10 it is a misconception and a misunderstanding. If we go to that person we suffered the offense from and talk to them about it......usually you will discover they didnt even realize they had hurt you and they are infact very sorry they did.
The devil LOVES it when we keep things hidden deep inside and leave them in the dark to fester. The truth is in the light, in the open. So communicate, you will be glad you did.
One last thing....A brick wall in strong. Each brick is just as important as the other brick in forming the wall, right? They have to stick together in order for the wall to function properly. Even though one brick is part of the wall and closely surrounded by four other bricks, he is not close to the other 400 bricks. He can see them, love them, even help them from where he is, but he remains closest to the four around him. And thats OK.
We need to love each other and have compassion for each other, but that doesn't mean we need to hang out everyday together for cook outs. We are all different and some personalities clash. You can love someone and be willing to help them and support them without being their every waking hour companion.
To sum it up, if you have been hurt by a church, church leaders, or fellow church members....give it another try. Chin up, the right church IS out there. Made especially for you. Ask God and He will help you find it. When you do, be FAITHFUL. Where you are planted, you will flourish.
I hope this has helped you. If you are at this place and you want to share, send me an email. creativelyenclined@gmail.com
If you know of someone that this might help, please share it with them.